#LML: The light at the end of the tunnel.

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Happy November!

How did that happen?

What a whirlwind this week has been! And although there were a few missteps, all-in-all, I must say it was really wonderful. Some chapters of my life that are best kept firmly in the past seem to have finally closed and amazing new ones are just beginning. After hitting a bit of a slump, I’m feeling renewed and more inspired than I have in a long time. There are so many ideas spinning around in my head and I feel energized and ready to make them happen.

It just goes to show, no matter how dire something seems when you’re in the thick of it, often it’s leading you somewhere really wonderful.

I have a mountain of week to get back to, but I didn’t want to go another week without sharing my gratitude list.

This week I’m thankful for…
apropos tarot readings; the most perfectly pillowy gnocchi at Villa Bianca; dreaming of adventures in Paris (one more month!); FaceTime with Henry; planning my own happiness project; getting the perfect part-time job; receiving Gala’s Dare/DREAM/Do letters each morning; a Halloween junk food feast in bed with my flatmate while watching Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone (the perfect end to a tumultuous day!).

What made you love your life this week? Try using the hashtag #LML on Twitter for spontaneous bursts of gratitude.

Hugs & kisses,
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P.S. It’s a day late, but check back tomorrow for my full review of The Happiness Project and the link-up with our other book clubbers. If you’re interested in getting in on the fun, join our Facebook group and pick up your copy of Daring Greatly (I found it at my local library).

LML // London hugs.

political-street-art-brick-laneI’m so excited for my life to be all London, all the time, but this week has had its fair share of challenges. Settling into any new place, whether it’s around the corner or across the world, can be difficult and with a few more curveballs thrown into my personal life, it’s been difficult to be so far way from the people I love.

Luckily, this city is more than a little bit amazing. If I’m feeling down, there’s always something waiting down the street to cheer me up. It might be a cheeky piece of street art, like the one above, that brings a smile to my face or finding a famous monument around the corner or the (always) free admission to the city’s national galleries and museums – whatever it is, it’s like London’s always right there, waiting to give me a hug. And trust me, London, I’m hugging you right back.

the-london-eye-at-nightHere are some of the things I’m feeling grateful for this week…
moving into our new flat; reliable access to WiFi; a reunion with mon amour; kind words from across the interwebs; a glass of red wine in a cozy bar; epic wind racing through the trees outside my window & torrential downpours; an exciting interview opportunity with a super inspiring babe; stocking my kitchen with my favourite healthy staples; trashy TV & steaming mugs of tea to nurse me back to health.

What made you love your life this week? If you post your own gratitude list, be sure to share the link in the comments. And consider sharing spontaneous bursts of gratitude on Facebook and Twitter with the hashtag #LML. Let’s start a revolution of looking on the bright side!

Curled up in bed listening to the rain,
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LML // I live in London, England!

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I keep stopping and saying to myself, “Oh my god, I live in London!”

I pictured our week consisting of hours spent in coffee shops responding to rental ads in between darting off to viewings in different parts of the city. In reality, Kari and I actually settled on the second flatshare we saw. We’d done a lot of research beforehand, so we knew more or less what parts of the city we’d like to live in and what was realistic to expect in our budget. The first place we saw was far from homey and had an entranceway that I’d have to describe as creepy.

That made us appreciate the second flat a lot more. Better location. Better rooms. Better building. Better vibe. Just better.

There were two other women there looking at the same rooms (there are 4 bedrooms total, but we were only interested in the 2 that were in our budget). While they decided to take the night to think it over, we took the plunge and told the agents we’d take the rooms. We weren’t excited about the locations of the other viewings we’d set up and felt confident we’d found our little home.

So, on Tuesday, we’ll be moving to Whitechapel! Maybe you’ve heard of it; it was Jack the Ripper’s hunting grounds in 1888.

In typical London fashion, the flat is teeny tiny and doesn’t have any “living room” to speak of as it was converted into an extra bedroom. But the space is clean and freshly updated and the building backs onto a nice little green space. There’s a cute kitchen table where we can hang out and we can cozy up in one of our rooms sleepover style if we want to watch a movie or something.

The hostel we’ve been staying in is clean and quiet and totally acceptable, but I’m really looking forward to all of the conveniences of having my own place again. Like not having to remember to take a key and all of my toiletries to the bathroom every time. A proper kitchen to cook dinner in. A place to hang my clothes. And a door to close behind me at the end of the day.

I can’t wait to have my own little space to start decorating! I need to pick out some linens before we move in, so I’ve been combing Pinterest and home decor blogs looking for inspiration.

And man oh man, I’m so grateful, after all these months of dreaming, to finally be living in London…

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rocking the stage for Pravana at the CBS show; getting the news that my rock ‘n roll pinup photos by Camille Porthouse will be featured in Expressions Magazine; a drive to the airport with my parents and tearful good-bye; actually sleeping on my flight; finding my way around on the tube without much trouble; meandering around Brick Lane, visiting old haunts, and ogling street art; celebratory bubbly after finding our apartment; dinner at Mildred’s (my second visit and I need to go back again and again so I can try everything on their menu); Spamalot in the west end followed by a stroll past Big Ben and cakes near Trafalgar Square.

What are you feeling grateful for this week? Are you chasing any big dreams? I’d love to hear! And if you have any tips for decorating and organizing teeny tiny spaces on a budget, help a sista out!

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LML // 11 more sleeps.

lmlHey, dolls!

I’ve got 11 sleeps left in Canada before I get on a jetplane and fly across the Atlantic to England.

On the one hand, I couldn’t be more ready. I only have one more administrative thing to check off my list and I plan to have my bags more or less packed by Monday night. I just want to get there already.

On the other hand, I get overwhelmed when I think of all the things I’d like to do that relatively small number of days. It can’t all happen. I can’t see everyone. There isn’t enough of time.

For that reason, I’m really grateful for the little bit of time that I do have left. My calendar is jammed with friends to hang out with, family dinners, and a few exciting details that you’ll have to wait to find out about. I know the time is going to fly by and I plan on making the most of it.

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bulletheart homemade deodorant & body butter bulletheart a personal e-mail from Sera Beak bulletheart friendship bracelet making sessions bulletheart board game nights bulletheart a cupcake hat for a little cutie bulletheart the harvest moon bulletheart an epic thunderstorm bulletheart downloading Bossypants on my Kindle bulletheart donating a carload of clothing to Goodwill bulletheart enrolling in a new Skillshare class bulletheart working on a new blog design bulletheart

What made you love your life this week? If you post your own gratitude list, be sure to share a link in the comments.

Love,
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LML // Letting go & choosing love.

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What a year it’s been! It’s really seemed like the ultimate roller coaster. I can’t believe I’m leaving for England in less than 4 weeksI’m freaking out a little bit. But in another way, I’m so ready. When I get on that plane, it will have been exactly one year since I set out across the ocean for The MASON’s research trip through Europe. I can’t believe how much has changed.

On Sunday I completed Gabrielle Bernstein‘s 6-week May Cause Miracles course, which is founded on the radical idea that only love is real. The book is based on the principals from A Course in Miracles, and provides daily affirmations, activities, journaling prompts, and meditations to recalibrate your mind back to love. The premise is this: in every moment we have the choice to choose love or fear. But the really incredible thing is that your choices become your reality. Most of us turned to fear a long a time ago. But in every second of every day, we have the option to choose love instead. And when you do, incredible things happen. Every time you shift your mindset from fear to love is a miracle.

I’ve already started to see the miracles roll in. But it hasn’t been easy.

A huge component of choosing love is forgiveness. And that means letting go. But is there really anything harder?

Whether it’s our lover, friend, job, business, or old dreams, sometimes we hold onto something so tightly that we don’t see how toxic our relationship to it has become. Not until it’s wrenched from our clutches and we’re left feeling broken and out of control do we realize the destruction it’s caused.

But consistently, from inside that heap of sadness and loss, these storms show themselves to be blessings.  Once we learn to let go and heal, we’re free to move forward into new adventures, into the people we dream of becoming.

I had one such experience earlier this year, soon after my 25th birthday, when my relationship with one of my closest friends (who was also my business partner) completely dissolved. Or, as it felt at the time, exploded in a bombastic cloud of destruction. Shit had hit the fan.

For many reasons, this experience was terrifying and soul crushing.

There were many financial fears involved, but even worse was the heartbreak at losing a relationship I’d held precious and believed to be so strong. I went through all of the stages of a romantic breakup: I was angry. I cried a lot (a lot). I felt powerless. Some days it was hard to get out of bed. The dreams that had felt so close, now seemed impossible and far away.

At first it seemed impossible for me to forgive. I didn’t want to. My ego told me that I was the victim and I held onto my anger like a righteous badge of honour.

But slowly, little by little, something started to change.

I still felt ripped up inside. Sometimes I still do. But I don’t want to anymore.

My mind has shifted; I want to forgive. And slowly, I’ve begun to heal.

That’s what Gabby teaches. By surrendering to forgiveness we open ourselves up to it and we begin to let go. It’s as simple (and difficult) as that.

It’s an on-going process, this whole letting go thing.

It’s not something we can just choose to do. To let go. To heal. To get over it.  To move on. But there are choices we can make to, to crack ourselves open, become vulnerable, and let the process happen.

Unfortunately, first, you have to feel everything. Every excruciating moment of hurt. My first reaction to shame and heartbreak is to turn away, to find a way to numb or distract myself from it, so I can just feel better already. But numbing ourselves will never lead us back to love. We have to honour the entire process in order to move through it.

And just as important is sharing those feelings. In the darkness of silence, shame, pain, anger, humiliation, fear, self-doubt, and misery are allowed to fester and grow. By outing them to our closest confidants and the pages of our journals, we strip away their power. We start to see the artifice of our fears. And then we can begin to choose different thoughts.

That’s a powerful realization when you really believe it: you can choose your thoughts. You can choose to be grateful for the things that nearly broke you. Because they didn’t. Because you’re stronger. Because you learned from them. Because they helped make you whole.

So, all this to say: this year didn’t turn out anything like I expected. I’m no longer travelling the globe to make The MASON. But I am about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. And through all of the loss, I’ve learned the importance of choosing love over fear. I’ve learned to expect miracles. I’m allowing joy to enter my life in a major way. And I couldn’t be more grateful.

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an apropos fortune cookie; finding the perfect black flats in adorable small town vintage store; wood oven margherita pizza; choosing to let go of a commitment that had become a major source of negativity in my life; almond macaroons; a rock ‘n roll pin-up shoot in graffiti-laden alleys; re-purpling my hair; vampy purple nails; jacket weather; late-blooming gardens; sweaty, late night dancing with my besties; greasy breakfast the next morning; picking up prints from a roll of film.

Thanks for making it all the way through this post. I know it was longer and more personal than usual, but more and more I realize the importance of sharing what makes us vulnerable. And I always want you to know where I’m at in my life.

What made you love your life this week? How can you become grateful for the obstacles you’re facing?

Love always,
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Top photo by Camille Porthouse.